Self Examination

Dear seekers of the infinite Truth, just because we are all seekers we are all in God's Boat. God's Boat will carry us to our destined Goal. Today I wish to give a short talk on self examination. Most of us here are students. To be precise, all of us are students. Some of us are studying at the university, while others are studying in the outer world or in the inner world. We work very hard to pass our examinations. Our teachers and professors work very hard to be impartial.

When the human teacher wants to examine us, very often his pride pleads with him. It wants to examine us on the teacher's behalf. When God, the divine Teacher, wants to examine us, His Compassion pleads with Him. It wants to examine us on God's behalf. The human teacher gladly agrees to the proposal made by his pride. The divine Teacher immediately agrees to the proposal offered by His Compassion.

When the human teacher examines us, we either pass or fail the examination. But when the divine Teacher examines us, we never fail. Why? We never fail because the divine Teacher is at once our examiner and our private tutor. He privately teaches us what He is going to ask us on His examination. Naturally we never fail. First He teaches us devotedly, constantly and unconditionally. Then He openly examines us, and we all pass His examination without any difficulty.

Self examination and deception are total strangers. They are constantly at daggers drawn. Deception hates self examination. Self examination is fond of perfection, and perfection is proud of self examination. Deception runs backward. Self-examination runs forward to its goal of perfection. At the end of the backward journey, Satan, the evil force, shakes hands with deception. And at the end of the forward journey, God, the Supreme Pilot, garlands self examination.

Self examination is our aspiration for the higher world and the inner world. The higher world is immortal Light. The inner world is infinite Peace. Light shows us the face of Truth and then makes us the body of Truth. Peace makes us the body of Truth and then shows us the face of Truth. Light says to Peace, "Sister, I need your Length. What you have and what you are is Infinity's Length." Peace immediately tells Light, "Brother, my Length is equally yours. What you have and what you are is Transcendental Height. I need your Light and your Height." The immortal Light says, "My sister, take it. My Light and my Height are equally yours."

Unlike us, God examines Himself constantly. We are reluctant to examine ourselves, but God is fond of examining Himself at every moment. He examines Himself in order to see whether His infinite Compassion is operating most effectively in the heart of mankind. And unlike us, God is fond of perfecting Himself at every moment. He feels that He is perfect only when we can offer Him a soulful smile. We pray to God for countless things, but He inwardly prays to us for only one thing: a smile, a soulful smile.

Self discovery and God discovery are one and the same thing, but they usually work in two specific ways. In God discovery, we see the infinite Infinity crying in the heart of the finite. In self discovery, we see the finite smiling through the soul of the infinite.

Self examination leads us to self control. Self-control leads us to self mastery. Self mastery is the denial of ignorance sea and the affirmation of Illumination sky. Self examination is our journey's start. Our first Goal is self discovery. Our second goal is God revelation. Our third and last goal is God manifestation. God discovery or God realisation, God revelation and God manifestation: these are the three rungs in the ladder of our spiritual evolution. Early in the morning, Mother Earth offers God realisation to Father Heaven as her first gift. At noon, Mother Earth offers God revelation to Father Heaven as her second gift. And in the evening, Mother Earth offers God manifestation to Father Heaven as her third and ultimate gift.

All seekers of the Transcendental are receiving Truth, Peace, Light and Bliss according to their capacity and receptivity. Everyone starts his spiritual journey as a beginner seeker. When a beginner-seeker examines his body, he discovers a stupid donkey. When he examines his vital, he discovers a mad elephant. When he examines his mind, he discovers a restless and mischievous monkey. And when he examines his heart, he discovers a feeble ant. His sincerity sees and feels it. But at the end of his journey's close, his sincerity makes him see and feel something else. He examines his body and discovers a sea of Purity. He examines his vital and discovers a sea of divine Power. He examines his mind and discovers a sea of infinite Peace. He examines his heart and discovers an infinite expanse of Light and Delight.

---

January 14th, 1974
St. Thomas Aquiras Chapel
University of Connecticut
Storrs, Connecticut

Note: The University of Connecticut in 1973 became the first academic institution to offer a credit course on Sri Chinmoy's philosophy. The course was developed and taught by Professor Peter Pitzele (Brihaspati). The following remarks were addressed by Sri Chinmoy to Brihaspati's wife, Indira, and to Brihaspati's students, who attended the talk.

To Indira: You are Brihaspati's inspiration. You inspire him outwardly and I inspire him inwardly. He needs inspiration both from the outer world and from the inner world. Our deep inspiration and his lofty aspiration have made him what he is-a professor who is loved and admired by all his students. In the name of the Supreme, I offer my loving gratitude to you and to Brihaspati.

To Brihaspati's students: I am most grateful to you. You have studied our philosophy. I pray to the Supreme to shower His choicest, highest blessings upon your devoted heads and your aspiring hearts. By studying our philosophy, you have given us the opportunity to serve the Supreme in your aspiring hearts. Brihaspati will offer our light to the Supreme in you. For that I am offering you my soul's deepest love and my heart's blessingful gratitude.